The Hundge was in the right hands from the start. Coach surprised us with Kip’s presence, homemade cake, an aged champagne toast, and most impressively, a commissioned art piece that was put up for auction.
Screech made a virtual appearance, in time for a motivational introductory speech from Siri. Siri’s words left us inspired, just in time for some generally uninspired poker play.
“Heart and farts they fade. Fade away.”
-Siri
“I bought her a bike, so she shut up for a little while.”
-Waxcuses
“Something rhymes with fist, I think.”
-Coach
Keynote speech by Siri:
A journey.
It is defined as a long and often difficult process of personal change and development. It is a process that can take years of dedication, years of study, years of practice, and years of small steps forward and back. But this journey we have undertaken, it has been destined since inception to conclude in one man’s transcendence of history, to forever be etched into the GOPT annals.
Our journey started in the before times, in which the ancient scrolls describe poker nights filled with whimsical games like 7 card stud, baseball, nickel, dime, quarter, and both modified and regular bean marriage. But on one fateful day our world was overrun by a force like none had ever seen…ESPN televised poker tournaments. It was these gripping tales of despair and euphoria which taught us about the ultimate prize – the bracelets which have come to define the modern GOPT era.
The first such bracelet was issued in this very location way back on November 8, 2007. That first bracelet was a one of a kind artistic masterpiece and it set in motion a tradition unlike any other. Over time, the bracelets have taken many forms, from silicone etched, to metal ESSOP, to shitty participation, to hot pink first time champion, to the literal nuts of the Downtown Newark Open, and finally, to the unequaled symbol of dominance that awaits our champion today.
Gentlemen, long ago we started out on a journey, and tonight, we have reached our destination. Who among us will walk away a mere witness to history, and who will walk away having made it? The Greater Oxford Poker Tour’s landmark 100th bracelet event (“The Hundge”) starts right now.
Who’s ready for some poker?
Waxcuses walked away with victory, his head held high, basking in the admiration of his peers.
Sully ended up season champion, which means nothing, and no one gives a shit, so whatever.
