Siri hosted, and he dealt with unprecedented levels of waffling about attendance and blinding in. He almost let the power go off which would’ve been a shot.

While not technically an infraction, there was a noted lack of bacon bites.

Siri assigned Screech a shot, which would have counted as banked after 10:53PM EDT. However he did come through, and sent a video of himself drinking Sailor Jerry from his dining room in California.

Everyone played pretty terribly and everybody ended up pretty darn close to even for the night.

Moe got blamed for Coach tricking his wife into eating the hottest wing, and now has his second strike toward not being allowed in their house.

Andre had a few beers (including a good one!), and was getting a bit aggressive. It was great.

Sweet 16 games were watched, and Junior’s extensive research paid off with a Purdue win.

It was a very close finish, but Moe took the bracelet by a narrow margin.

“All the cool stuff that was supposed to happen… didn’t. Enjoy my chips.” – Clay to Junior

Pork of a natural color was prepared for this end-of-season extravaganza. Junior hosted, and almost neglected to have poker chips, which were found piping hot in the trunk of his car with seconds to spare.

DJ Bueller provided the tunes for most of the evening. Mrs. Clay won the song trivia challenge.

Moe couldn’t stop talking about the logistics of shitting in a shot glass. Lots of riverboats were seen.

“I just watched Paterno. It was hard.” – Waxcuses

“I’ve got jacks.” – Coach “I’ve got jack shit.” Mrs. Clay

Siri took home the bracelet. Junior became the season champion (AKA sexiest GOPTer of the year award).

A slightly reduced showing of four GOPTers rolled into AC a bit later than expected, due to MP falling asleep at the bar the night before, then having his car break down five minutes after departure.

This was the first year with another piece of technology, in the form of the official GOPT Instagram account.

After a few bad beats took out other players, Junior emerged victorious. Several shots were taken, although none were specifically designated as punishment for violation of rule 3.6.7.

Junior had some ketchup. Coach hid some Splenda, and again walked all the way from the Nugget back to the Trop to release some KK over AK anguish. Moe cheated at arm-wrestling, and then squealed like a stuck pig when he “won”.

MP won this year’s second annual wrestling match against Junior, but Moe was helping, so it was really more of a draw. The bruises hurt, though.

We met a new Kip at Planet Rose, and Junior quickly creeped him out.

MP and Moe ate all the appetizers.

Cardboard Siri didn’t make it through the night.

Andre hosted this monumental event, and we feasted on paella and chicken corn chowder. With some of the first games of the NCAA tournament on in the background, Junior pushed through to his second consecutive bracelet.

The end of the second tournament went to perhaps the highest blind levels ever, as a handful of people survived repeated all-in moments.

On to AC Baby!

Waxcuses hosted for Coach’s 47 birthday extravaganza, and a well-endowed smiley face graced the cake.





Junior went on a bonkers run in the first game, and held it together well enough in the second game to take home the bracelet.


“You annoy me once a month, Junior. You’re like my period.” – Andre

“They killed them suicide style!” – Waxcuses

Andre carries a shot.

Waxcuses takes the win!

The day began over a few beers and pizza. Junior showered the table in $20 bills to get everyone in the gambling mood. Only Andre enjoyed it.

The tournament was a $45 buy-in + $25 bounty. To make it interesting, we added an additional $10 apiece to a separate pot to go to whoever ended the match with the most bounty chips.

The GOPT represented itself very well, with four players (Coach, Andre, Junior, and Moe) making it to the final table.

Junior was the bubble boy (but took a separate bubble pot along with four bounty chips). Moe took first place in the tournament for being in the chip lead at the time the table agreed to split.

Moe owes $280 in drinks in AC.

Junior owes $90 in drinks in AC, and a banked shot from #103.

Mrs. Clay owes a banked shot from #103.

We traveled down to Bieberland Farms for Event #103. The evening began with the inaugural hammerschlagen match, which took about two hours to be completed. After that,  we played poker until we puked all foam.

“I gotta believe he’s gotta a bigger pair than I do.” – Coach to Andre

🚣‍♀️ 🛶 – Junior to Siri

Mrs. Clay banked one, and so did Junior.

After many ups and downs, Andre took home the bacon.

This year’s Pink Pulled Pork Invitational started with an interruption from a sick Smalls. Her efforts to give her master a pity-based advantage failed, but she recovered quickly.

Andre washed down his meal and six-layer dip with a few delicious gummy beers. Everyone enjoyed the nostalgia of the 80’s music videos, except Junior, who only vaguely remembers them playing while he laid in his crib.

Siri took home his second bracelet in a row, ending the drought that he was in throughout the entire 2015-2016 season. That’s a shot.

OOOOHH KEVIN IS A PLACE ON EARTH!

See this season’s summary here.